Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
