'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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