i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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