so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
