I am puke
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
