im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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