Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
