Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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