it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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