She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
