Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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