Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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