I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she woke up with a sticky ear
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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