Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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