We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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