so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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