So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
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I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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