i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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