At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
