Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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