I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
