He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?†This is time sensitive.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
