Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
