never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
