Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
