i wish my penis had a tongue
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
