dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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