The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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