The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize