Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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