All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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