Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
