return my video game
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
