I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
if only i could text you this smell
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
