I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
