Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
