Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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