barbara walters just said penis...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
