If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
