Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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