I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize