Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
