I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
