i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
