I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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