batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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