For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
