Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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