you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I need water and some morals
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
