She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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