I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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