If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Randomize
