found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
