She tied me up with her honor cords...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
