I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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