her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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