My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
