I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
