about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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