took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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