I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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