So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
