you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
