I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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