i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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