You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
