they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
