i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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