hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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