i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
