Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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