id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
